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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26525335">stuck</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvcrs/pseuds/silvcrs'>silvcrs</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Reminiscing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:55:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>342</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26525335</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvcrs/pseuds/silvcrs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>good morning murphamy nation . so i wrote this last night um its literally just a short 400 words of Sad but i have no effort to make it any longer and kind of like it as it is so . heres a little murphy grieving bellamy because its the least we deserve and i hate season 7</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bellamy Blake/John Murphy, Emori/Raven Reyes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>stuck</h2></a>
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    <p>Murphy dreams of him. He dreams of calloused hands that would firmly hold his wrist and pull him to his feet, hands that left a permanent phantom weight on his right shoulder, accompanied by the words “I’m sorry.” He dreams of freckled skin and broad shoulders and a teasing smile that he never stopped yearning for those first few weeks on the ground. A smile that to him, meant approval, partnership, understanding, love. A smile that he promised himself he would never yearn for again the day the crate was kicked beneath his feet and the world went black.</p><p>He dreams of long days on the ring, cold metal and machinery and algae. The cold space between him and Emori as they began to drift from one another. The coldness that evaporated into nothing when strong warm arms would engulf him.   He dreams of tiny hospital beds, creaking and struggling under the weight of 2 adult male bodies and the the tears that ran down his cheeks in the dead of night, always quickly replaced by the warmth of soft lips pressing against his forehead.<br/>
When he wakes up, the tears on his cheeks  resemble the ones in his dreams, but he’s always cold now.</p><p>Through the day he’s plagued with last words, lost words - all the unfinished sentences that he wishes more than anything now that he had finished.<br/>
“You look good.” (You always do).<br/>
“Whats our play here?” (I’m on your side, I always am).</p><p>The space between him and Emori begins to grow again, she finds comfort in Raven and he finds he doesn’t seem to care. “Maybe you are worth believing in.” and “You’re not worthless Murphy.” are incomparable anyway. </p><p>He wonders how it happened, unable to shake the thought that Bellamy died not only alone, but lonely, thinking all the people he cared about had turned his back on him. He wonders if Bellamy knew, that Murphy would follow him to the ends of the earth, no matter what.</p><p>He wonders if he’ll ever feel warm again.</p>
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